remotely pretty

I was going to write something extremely smart and funny to show I don´t care everyone´s away and I´m still here, but somehow it didn´t work out, so I wrote up my thoughts for the last 15 minutes instead:

19.45
God, I miss everyone. What are they up to right now? Probably looking interesting on foreign train stations.
19.46
They should totally turn my life into a musical. With songs like ‘They Prefer The East Block Over Me’ and ‘My Sims Are My Only Friends’, and a lovely uptemo dance number called ‘I’m Totally Dancing To Britney Spears Right Now’. Yeah, that should become a classic.
19.48
My Britney Spears dance is pretty good. Maybe I should record it with my webcam and put it on YouTube and get hundreds of comments and LOADS of admirers and then I wouldn’t need my friends any more. Who needs friends who go to Eastern Europe anyway. Phah.
19.51
My Britney moves looked way better in the mirror than they do on camera. Do just have a very, very confused sense of sight which turns everything I see in the mirror in reverse, like when I see something ugly in the mirror I see it as pretty, and when I see something completely cool, I think it’s just crap? Yeah, that’d explain a lot. Like why people never seem to think that I’m pretty, while I see a darrrrn pretty face in that mirror, yo.
19. 52
I didn’t mean that. I’m remotely pretty, but not darrrrn-like.
19.54
I wish I weighed more, so I could eat more chocolate.
19.55
You know what pisses me off? Not having had enough money to go on exchange to Czech, so that now my entire social life is ruined because everyone is like, banging Czech boys out there and I’m sitting alone behind a laptop (ONE THAT’S NOT EVEN MINE. SEE? I’M THAT POOR.) and eating my weight in chocolate. That’s 55 kilos of bloody chocolate I’m talking about. And at the same time, I don’t have enough money to go to ANOTHER Eastblock country to keep an eye on my boyfriend while he’s at a bloody great festival in bloody Hungary, with bloody model-like Hungarian girls and pints of beer for bloody two euros. And I would totally bloody say ‘bloody’ that many times if I actually spoke English in real life. Which I don’t. I’m that bloody uncool.
20.00
Obviously I’m joking. I’m very cool. I am one cool person.
20.03
I might as well put the Britney video up. I don't care if I look like an idiot. Honestly, I'm starting to get used to looking like an idiot. 'Snot as bad as you think.
20.05
I was lying, it is as bad as you think. The word Hungary has made me hungry (word joke! Ahahaha! Ha!). I'm going to get some more chocolate.